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Roy: Did you manage to get that black hole out yet?
Janitor: Sorry, it just won’t wipe clean. I got it down to an inch on each side, though.
Roy: Did you use bleach?
Janitor: A whole bottle! It just swallowed it up!
Roy: Use some more bleach and get back to me.
Janitor: I’m out of cleaning supplies! You need to give me more funding!
Roy: … Eh, they can fight around it. Bandit, start this thing.
Bandit: With pleasure! And your wallet!
Roy: Nice try, my wallet’s attached to my shell!
Bandit: See ya!
Roy: Get back here!
Bandit: Heh, just kidding. But you should be more careful with your clothes.
Roy: Yeah, yeah.
Bandit: In the Green Corner, it’s the Duke of Dimensions and the Tsar of Tsimiles, DIMENTIO!
Dimentio: Ahahahaha! Like a steak in front of a pack of hungry wolves, this battle won’t last long at all!
Bandit: In the Yellow Corner is the Koopaling who put Dimentio down last time. Meet the webmaster, LEMMY!
Lemmy: All right! This’ll be a snap!
Bandit: And in the Blue Corner, he rules a box of toys with an iron fist! GENERAL GUY!
General Guy: This time I have a plan that won’t fail!
Bandit: And now to Larry with–
Roy: Larry’s still in the black hole.
Bandit: Oh, right. Hey, General Guy! Can you predict who’s going to win this match?
General Guy: I predict myself!
Roy: I’ll be holding Larry to that!
General Guy: You can count on me!
Bandit: Let’s get this show on the road! Pokey!
DING DING DING! FWASH! FWASH!
Bandit: As soon as the match began, Dimentio encased the other two in the glass boxes!
Lemmy: I’ll just freeze myself again and–
Bandit: The smoke is clearing, but that might have been the most anticlimactic Sports Hall match ever that doesn’t involve Shadoo!
Lemmy: Ugh… ugh…
Dimentio: A half-dead Koopaling and an empty tank! Much like my Internet delivery packages, this match is going to me!
General Guy: Not so fast! STILT GUY!
Dimentio: What the–
Bandit: I don’t understand what’s going on! I thought General Guy was blown up!
General Guy: Why would I make the guy who makes all the decisions stand out the most? That was just a Shy Guy private!
Dimentio: Then I’ll end you here!
Shy Guy: Nooooo!
General Guy: Over here!
BAM! BAM! BAM!
Shy Guy: ARGH!
Dimentio: ONE OF YOU HAS TO BE THE RIGHT ONE! DIIIIIIIIIIE!!
FWASH! FWASH! FWASH! FWASH! FWASH! FWASH! FWASH!
Bandit: Dimentio’s encased every Shy Guy in sight with a box!
Dimentio: Ciao, for good this ti–
ZAP! Bing! Boing! CHUNK! Bam!
General Guy: What was that?
Lemmy: Heh heh… Looks like your boxes don’t let anything go in, either.
Bandit: Lemmy reflected his freeze ray off the boxes to hit Dimentio in the back! He’s frozen solid!
General Guy: You will pay for the loss of two fine guys! Here’s a hint, only the real General Guy knows how to do… THIS!
Dimentio: BLAGIDIAGIDIAGIDIAGGGGGG! ENOUGH! CLONE PARTY!
Bandit: Dimentio’s filled the ring with clones!
Lemmy: Only… one… chance… Argh!
Bandit: Lemmy threw a ball! But it’s so slow…
General Guy: I accept the terms of temporary truce! PRIVATE GUY! SHY STACKS! STILT GUY! VOLLEYBALL TIME!
Private Guy: Bump!
POOF POOF POOF!
Shy Stack: Set!
POOF POOF POOF POOF POOF!
Bandit: Thanks to General Guy’s army, the ball’s quickly knocking the clones down!
Shy Stack: Gotcha!
POOF! POOF! POOF!
Dimentio: I am alone once more, like an actor in a limousine! But you can’t possibly hope to–
General Guy: SPIKE!
General Guy: Time to finish you off! FIRE!!!
Pokey: Dimentio, eliminated.
General Guy: Our truce is over! Charge!
Lemmy: The ball is… still in play…
ZAP! Squeak! WHAM!
General Guy: GUAH!
Bandit: Lemmy froze the ball and knocked General Guy off of his tank!
Lemmy: It’s over.
General Guy: YOUR FINAL ORDERS ARE TO CHARGE!
Lemmy: Now I’ll just throw you out of the ring and–
Shy Guy: General Guy is like a father to us! We will fulfill the orders he gave us before being frozen temporarily! GET HIM!
Shy Army: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRGHHHHHHH!
WHAM! SMACK! CRUNCH! SMASH! BAM!
Pokey: Winner, General Guy.
Bandit: Let’s go to him for comments!
General Guy: Brrr… Stilt Guy, bring me a victory soup!
Stilt Guy: Right away, sir!
Roy: Not a bad match! Got two freaks out of the way, anyways. Time to shock Larry.
Bandit: Larry’s not here, remember?
Roy: I know that. I’m just going to ask Count Bleck to open another hole and I’ll throw this box of tazers into it.
Bandit: Sounds like a plan if I hadn’t stolen the box fir– GACK!
Roy: And you’re the perfect messenger!
Bandit: WAIT! I NEED TO ANNOUNCE NEXT WEEK!
Roy: Then escape in six days! End transmission!
|Voting Results (highlight to see):
1. Lemmy: 47%
2. Dimentio: 31%
3. General Guy: 22% - Extreme Lucky!
These eligible fighters were nominated, but not often enough to make the
- All nominations will roll over to the second half of the season
You're not allowed to nominate these now - so don't waste your vote!
- Ludwig, Roy (already fought this season)
- Goombella (not an enemy)
- Mr. L (retired season champion)
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