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Roy: At last, we’re near the end of the first half of Season Nine! In the ring are two crowd favorites with approximately equal strength.
Count Bleck: How ridiculous, interjected Count Bleck! I’ve conquered entire dimensions! What can you hope to do?
Cackletta: I made Bowser wear makeup.
Cackletta: That did not sound as good as it did in my head.
Roy: Well, finally. For once, we can get a contestant who isn’t a pushover like the others to get rid of Cackletta’s annoying winning streak. The more I see her win, the more bad memories get whipped up.
Larry: What bad memories?
Roy: I was… I was… A MINIBOSS! *sob*
Larry: Oh, that. That wasn’t so bad.
Roy: Speak for yourself! I deserve boss status in every Mario game at the least. Either that or I rip up the contract and go home.
Larry: That explains why you’re in so few games.
Roy: What can I say, they just don’t recognize a genius like me.
Bandit: I’m here! Sorry I’m late, I was pickpocketing the sky box.
Roy: I accept your fifty percent.
Bandit: I’m sorry?
Roy: I said I accept your apology.
Bandit: Yeah, yeah.
Roy: Now get to announcing! And then get to stealing while announcing!
Bandit: In the Yellow Corner is a melodramatic witch.
Cackletta: EEEEEYAHAHAHA! At last, victory is mine!
Bandit: And in the Green Corner is a purple guy who refers to himself in the third person.
Count Bleck: Only the most elite have that prerogative… claimed Count Bleck!
Roy: All right! By the end of this match, one or the other of these guys is going to be beaten to a pulp. Which means I win either way. But hey, let’s go with a prediction anyways!
Roy: I’ll count that as a vote for Cackletta. Pokey!
DING DING DING!
ZAP! ZAP! ZAAAAAP!
Count Bleck: You’ll have to do better than that to defeat Count Bleck!
Bandit: Count Bleck deflected the lightning with some kind of shield.
Cackletta: That was only the beginning, my good Count. Behold!
Bandit: Cackletta’s summoned two clones of herself… Which one is the real her?
Count Bleck: Ah, this attack. So reminiscent of my peon Dimentio. Ha!
BOOM! Squeak! Squeak! Squeak!
Count Bleck: What?! I guessed wrong?!
Count Bleck: BLAGIDIAGIDIAGIDIAGGGG! YOU WILL PAY!
Bandit: Very clever! Count Bleck created a portal that didn’t let the bats from the fake one escape!
Cackletta: *cough, cough* That’s enough. Time to show you the limits of my spellcraft!
Count Bleck: A hole in the floor? How pedestrian, scoffed Count Bleck. I fly, you idiot! Why would you even think you could–
Bandit: What’s going on?
Count Bleck: IMPOSSIBLE!
Count Bleck: ARGH!
Bandit: How did– The hole detached itself from the ground and flew into the air!
Count Bleck: You will–
Count Bleck: Not again… I’ll just–
Fwoop! Fwoop! Fwoop!
Bandit: Three holes have appeared in the air now!
Count Bleck: Now that I know what you can do, you won’t be hitting me again.
Cackletta: We’ll see.
WHOOSH! WHOOSH! WHOOSH! WHOOSH!
Bandit: I can hardly see what’s going on up there!
Count Bleck: Those portals move so slowly I can practically have a snack at the same time! Is this all you can–
Count Bleck: BLAGIDIAGIDIAGIDIAGGGGG! Ugh…
Bandit: Count Bleck’s falling to earth!
Cackletta: Not so fast!
FWOOP! FWOOSH FWOOSH FWOOSH FWOOSH FWOOSH FWOOSH FWOOSH…
Bandit: Count Bleck’s being thrown in between two portals! If he hits the ground, it’s game over if he doesn’t have any extra lives!
Count Bleck: Was that truly all you can muster, taunted Count Bleck?
Bandit: Ooh, I think we had all forgotten about that shield! He still looks beaten up, though…
Cackletta: You’re a tough one.
Count Bleck: I am a final boss, after all. But no more talking.
ZAP! ZAP! ZAP!
Count Bleck: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! …laughed Count Bleck.
Bandit: All three Cackletta clones were pulled into a truly massive portal! I can’t see anything going on in there, but…
Bandit: Whoops, never mind! Count Bleck reduced the portal to a tiny little dot and Cackletta’s nowhere to be seen!
Count Bleck: And thus, you are erased.
Pokey: Winner, Count Bleck.
Count Bleck: Truly another astonishing victory. Now if you will excuse me, I must rest in preparation for Round Three.
Roy: All right! The next match is Round Three and then we can finally get moving on the next part of the season!
Larry: Yeah, but if the voters act like they did this round…
Roy: Don’t mention that, you’re just encouraging them! Now get in the chair.
Larry: I don’t think it deserves that much–
Roy: No, don’t you remember? You lost your prediction.
Larry: I don’t remem– Wait…
Larry: Wait, I didn’t mean it! I was playing Pilotwings!
Roy: Ooh, really? I’ll take that.
Larry: And you’ll let me go?
Larry: Who am I kidding?
Roy: Good boy.
Larry: BLAGIDIAGIDIAGIDIAGGGG! END TRANSMISSION!
|Voting Results (highlight to see):
1. Count Bleck: 67%
2. Cackletta: 33% - Knocked out!
These eligible fighters were nominated, but not often enough to make the
- All nominations will roll over to the second half of the season
You're not allowed to nominate these now - so don't waste your vote!
- Playful (unofficial fan character)
- Axem Blue (doesn't exist)
- Iggy (already fought this season)
- Evil Monkeys (are you bananas?)
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