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Axem Rangers vs Boo vs Waluigi

Announcer Referee <-Prev--Next->

***

Roy: Welcome to the Sports Hall, my wonderful audience!

Larry: It looks like they’re transfixed by that Season 10 preview scroller you put on the big screen.

Roy: I certainly hope so. It gives me more opportunities to steal from them.

Larry: I thought Bandit left.

Roy: I steal in a different way.

Vendor: POPCORN! GET YER POPCORN HERE! FIFTY COINS NOT TO BUY ANY POPCORN! LAST CHANCE! OKAY, IT’S ON YOUR BILL!

Larry: Huh, not bad.

Roy: Thank you. That’ll be fifty coins.

Larry: What–

Roy: Don’t worry, I’m your brother. How about you just pay me thirty coins and I punch you in the face.

Larry: I’ll pay fifty, thanks.

Roy: Okay, then.

PUNCH!

Larry: But I said I paid fifty!

Roy: And I appreciate your tip. Where’s Count Bleck, anyways?

Larry: He said he wanted to make a “grand entrance”.

Roy: Well, it better be grand enough to make my top five list of grand entrances or I’ll sue him for every penny he’s got!

Larry: Oh, you don’t have to worry. Here he is.

Shoom shoom shoom SHOOM SHOOM SHOOM SHOOM SHOOM SHOOM SHOOM SHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!

Count Bleck: Behold as I make my leisurely approach to this arena. My enunciations shall cause those sitting there to tremble in awe, knowing that Count Bleck towers far above them!

Roy: Yeah yeah yeah. That was an awfully plain entrance for such a long wait!

Count Bleck: What are you talking about? Did you not see the castle? The chariot? The hole torn in the very fabric of reality?!

Roy: All I saw was “shoom shoom shoom”.

Count Bleck: You have no appreciation for fine entrances, grumbled Count Bleck. Let us proceed to the amassed contestants! In the Red Corner is a group of bladed buffoons, angry at their casting away from the first half of the season for Bandit. Count Bleck welcomes the AXEM RANGERS!

Axem Pink: Fighting for injustice!

Axem Green: Aiding the powerful!

Axem Black: Evil never fears to shine!

Axem Yellow: All thanks to…

Axem Red: THE AXEM RANGERS!

BACKGROUND EXPLOSION!!

Larry: See, that’s what you should’ve done.

Count Bleck: My entrance was much better.

Axem Red: No it wasn’t!

Count Bleck: THERE’S A REASON I’M IN THE FINALS AND YOU DO NOTHING BUT LOSE! …Screamed Count Bleck. In the Green Corner is the second least threatening ghost I have ever seen. It is BOO!

Boo: I’ll teach you how scary I am!

Count Bleck: And in the Yellow Corner–

Waluigi: It’s Waluigi Time! Yeeeh, yeeeh, Waluigi’s-a the greatest! Waaah!

Count Bleck: I should have known that would happen.

Roy: Larry, who do you have up to win?

Larry: Anti Guy.

Roy: What?

Larry: What?

Roy: Anti Guy’s not in this match.

Larry: Picky. Fine, I choose Boo because he’s round.

Count Bleck: Excellent! And with everything cleared, let the fighting… COMMENCE!

Pokey: Fight.

DING DING DING!

Axem Black: Ha ha!

Fling! Fling!

Boo: Eek!

Waluigi: Nope!

CRACK! KABOOM!

Axem Black: GUAGH!

Axem Pink: Don’t worry about it! Here!

SHING!

Axem Black: Thanks. I wasn’t expecting that…

Count Bleck: The ebony Axem Ranger began by throwing bombs at his opponents, but Boo simply let the bomb go through him and Waluigi smacked it back with a racket!

Waluigi: Watch-a the real master-a of bombs at-a work! FORE!

Smack!

Axem Green: STATIC E!

BZZZZT! KABOOM!

Waluigi: YOU SKINNY-A LITTLE TWERP!

Axem Green: Hey, I'm not the one who hid in his own shadow last season!

Waluigi: Waluigi will-a have to use his bag-a of tricks–

Boo: YAAAARRRRGHHHH!

Fling! Fling! Fling!

Waluigi: WAAAAH! MY-A TRICKS!

Count Bleck: Boo snuck up behind Waluigi and scared him, causing him to drop his… What are those, Mario Party capsules?

Axem Red: You’re out of attacks already, huh? This battle still has a long ways to go! Yellow!

Axem Yellow: Ha ha!

WHAM!!

Axem Yellow: GAAAAH!

Count Bleck: A Mr. Blizzard just dropped out of nowhere onto Axem Yellow! Looks like those capsules have made this match much more exciting, evaluated Count Bleck!

Axem Red: Green, can you get rid of the spaces?

Axem Green: Sure can–

Boo: EEEHEEEHEEE!

GRAB!

Axem Green: Wh-what are you doing?! Let me go!

Boo: Ha haa!

Thump! KABOOM!

Axem Green: Guuuh!

Count Bleck: Axem Green has fallen onto a Bob-omb capsule. What shall they do, cornered by these rogue items?

Axem Pink: Don’t worry, I’ll heal you–

Waluigi: Not-a so fast! WAA!

CRR-ACK!

Axem Pink: GUAAAAGH!

Axem Yellow: Don’t touch our healer–

Thwomp: OOR!

WHAM!

Axem Yellow: GAAAAH!

Waluigi: WAA! WAA! WAAAAHAHAHA!

WHAM! WHAM! WHAM!

Axem Pink: OW! OW! Dang! My suit’s powering down…

Pokey: Axem Pink, ring out.

Count Bleck: Such savagery… Waluigi wailed on Axem Pink with a baseball bat until she had to retreat.

Axem Red: It isn’t over! Let’s finish this before we step on every capsule here! BREAKER BEAM–

CLUNK! Vroooooooom!!

Roy: You still haven’t paid me for the right to install that robot head in the floor.

Waluigi: There’s-a nothing Waluigi can’t-a break! WA!

BOOT!

Count Bleck: Waluigi has kicked a soccer ball in the air. This shall be interesting… spectated Count Bleck!

Waluigi: It’s-a time for a scorching Waluigi kick!

BA-BAAAAM! FWOOOOOSH!

Count Bleck: The ball has split into six! They’re screaming towards that robot head…

Axem Red: Black!

Axem Black: Heh.

KABOOM! KABOOM! KABOOM! KABOOM! KABOOM!

Axem Red: There’s one more!

Axem Green: STATIC E!

BZZZT! Foomp.

Waluigi: NO-A WAY!

Axem Red: FIRE!

Boo: Hee hee!

Push!

Axem Red: Ack! Ack!

FREEOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWW!!!

Waluigi: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!

Axem Red: NOOOAAAAAAAAAAAARGHHH! Oof oof oof!

Pokey: Axem Red, eliminated.

Count Bleck: Boo pushed Axem Red into the line of fire! Without a leader, how will the Axem Rangers fare?

Axem Black: No problem. Green, let’s–

Axem Green: Can’t… go… on…

Axem Black: Wha– Yellow!

Thwomp: THWOMP CRUSH FAT MAN!

Axem Black: So it’s just me, huh? Well, I always knew it would come to this. I’ll take you all on, and–

Push!

Axem Black: Woah!

Foomp!

Axem Black: No. No. NO NO NO NO–

WHAM! BOOM! SHOOM! WHAM!

Count Bleck: Axem Black got pushed onto a Podoboo capsule! He’s barely dodging others as he stops the fire from activating all of his bombs, but for how long?

Axem Black: HA!

KABOOM!

Axem Black: At last, we can–

Fwoosh fwoosh fwoosh fwoosh FWOOSH FWOOSH FWOOSH!

Axem Black: NO NO NOOOOOOO!!

FLING!

Pokey: Ring out. Axem Rangers, defeated.

Count Bleck: Ahh, what a futile attempt! He stepped on a whirlwind capsule, which threw him out of the ring. How beautiful.

Waluigi: WA HA! That’s-a it for-a–

Boo: BLEEHEEHEE! It’s just us nowwww!

Waluigi: You can’t-a defeat me! I just need a capsule and–

Boo: OOOOOooOOOOOOooOOOO…

Count Bleck: Boo is slowly making his approach…

Waluigi: WA-HA! VACUUM CAPSULE!

Foomp!

Roy: When did he get that?!

Larry: I think it was 7?

Roy: Really? I don’t bother with any Mario Party after 3.

Larry: Does anyone except him?

Waluigi: WAA!

VWOOOOOOOO…

Boo: NO NO NO NO NOOOOOOOO! AVENGE MEEEeeeeeee…

Thwup!

Pokey: Winner, Waluigi.

Waluigi: WALUIGI’S THE GREATEST!

Roy: Well, that was, uh, certainly a match.

Larry: I can’t imagine the Axem Rangers will appreciate this once they wake up, though.

Roy: Heh, no. I’ll just let them test their cannon out on you in return.

Larry: What?!

Roy: Nope, no running away.

BALL AND CHAIN!

Larry: That’s the worst sound effect ever.

Roy: But at least I got some use out of my “old-timey convict” Halloween costume. End transmission!